Thoughtcrime Watch

The pilot programme in Middlesbrough to keep the proles in line help fight crime through CCTV cameras equipped with tannoys has proven such a gross violation of ancient liberties so successful that it is now being expanded to twenty other communities around Britain so that more people can enjoy the benefits of never knowing a moment's peace.

The Home Secretary John Reid says that the system is not "secret surveillance" saying,

It's very public, it's interactive.

Amazingly, he regards this as some sort of defence rather than a damning out of his own mouth.

The BBC, in an effort to help the public become accustomed to its new role as Outer Party members of Airstrip One, provided this scenario of the frighteningly near future.

Notice how the man in question has the suitably hunted look of a thoughtcriminal caught out. It's Room 101 for you, my lad!

Mr. Reid claims that the trade offs are well worth the candle and any fears of encroaching tyranny are mere paranoia because there is only a "minority who will be more concerned about what they claim are civil liberties intrusions". This is, of course, quite right. Why should the people have any fears as unseen, unaccountable eyes watch their every move from ubiquitous cameras and bark orders at them when they fail to follow the whimsical diktats of the Party? They should simply go about their lives in the comforting knowledge that people who know better than they will watch over them and save them from their fellow citizens or even themselves.

After all, what could possibly go wrong?