When The Road Becomes a Lake

Hollywood Conquest

The newest culinary sensation in Hollywood? The full English breakfast complete with black pudding and fried bread.

Civilisation is not yet dead.

For One Brief, Shining Moment

Barack "HWMNMNBU" Obama has chosen Dr. Sanjay Gupta as the new US Surgeon General.

I feel bitter about this because when the news first reached me, I misheard and thought they said Sanjaya from American Idol had been tapped only to have hope dashed like a Ming vase in a snow blower.

Fate, why do you toy with us?

And Then They Stole His Lunch Money

Barack "He Whose Middle Name May Not be Uttered" Obama had brunch with all the other living US presidents. They told Mr Obama that for the next four years they will refer to him as "New Kid".

Japan's Next-Generation Space Toilet

Go away. Just go away.

Third Hand Smoke: Scourge Of The 21st Century

And they're saying this with a straight face.

Next up: Fourth-hand smopke causes Lurgi.

Putting It More Succinctly

Dr Payam Rezaie of the Open University's Neuropathology Research Laboratory:

BRRRRRRAAAAIIIIIINNNNSSSSS!!!!!!!

Satire Past

A 1970s look at today. The accuracy isn't so much in what the "today's" kids are doing as in the utter reluctance of the Boomers to let go of their sordid youth.

Ever.

Prius Pro & Con

A man in Massachusetts recently powered his house using his Prius as a makeshift generator after the mains were knocked out by an ice storm. This almost made me change my mind about the appalling little things until I recalled that during the recent snow storm at Chez Szondy both our cars were stranded miles away and I doubt that a Prius could get up the mountain any better than the Hunmobile.

Besides, an emergency genny costs about 60 times less than what a Prius goes for and you look less of a burke for owning one.

Morris Dancers Face Extinction

Let's take a step back for a minute while we figure out which side we're on.

Pre-Chewed Pencils

There just aren't enough minutes in the day.

Mars "Colony"

I'm sure that the simulated Mars colony in Hanksville, Utah has its heart in the right place and it does look kind of cool from the outside.

Inside, however, it is less than impressive; looking more like the sort of site huts that I kicked around in during my archaeology days. Somehow, I doubt that plywood will be a major construction material on Mars, nor do I think that hammers and nails will be in great demand.

But my favourite is the fact that the "astronauts" don "spacesuits" before doing an "EVA", or as we call it on earth, putting on silly overalls before going outside. No doubt it's all jolly fun, but wake me when they relocate the camp to the top of Mount Everest or the bottom of Lake Superior and then I'll be more impressed.

K9 In Action

Either incredibly brave, or the man had snausages.

The Man Who Hated Scenes

Well, who wouldn't?

I Wonder If They Do Samplers

God, this is like those appalling coffee bars. Do I want a skinny grande latte with dry foam or a double tall cappuccino with a vanilla shot or do I dare ask for "Coffee"?

Frozen Bubbles

With a cold night, a bit of patience, a little skill, and absolutely nothing else in your life to do, you too can freeze soap bubbles

The New Doctor Who

Matt Smith, age 26, has been named to take over from David Tennant as Doctor Who.

He's not black, a woman, Graham Norton, or (God spare us!) an American, so we should be grateful for small mercies for dodging the character-lethal bullet of stunt casting that would have been on a par with giving Rosie O'Donnell the title role in a remake of Shaft, but you'd have thought they'd have at least cast an actor who shaves more often than once a week.

Update: Get a haircut!

Rendezvous With Tomorrow